From Darkness to Light: A Spiritual Journey Through Mental Health

By Rikesh Lallu

For many years, I was fighting off thoughts, feelings, and emotions I didn’t understand. I kept telling myself that if I made more money, bought a house, drove a nicer car, traveled more, and accumulated material wealth, the heavy feelings would eventually go away.

To manage the discomfort, I consumed marijuana daily and drank alcohol a few times a week. I convinced myself these substances helped me relax - that I deserved them after long, stressful days. Deep down, I knew I was numbing something I didn’t yet have the tools or awareness to face.

I had experienced anxiety attacks growing up, but I never fully understood what they were until 2018. That year, we moved into a new home, my wife was pregnant with our second child, and I was overwhelmed—juggling work, a large mortgage, and the responsibilities of raising a two-year-old daughter.

One day, shortly after my son was born, I had an emotional outburst - an anxiety attack - directed toward my wife. Our children witnessed it. That moment was a wake-up call. It was the first time I realized that what I’d been dealing with wasn’t just stress; it was severe anxiety - something that had been with me most of my life, silently shaping how I moved through the world.

As time passed, the anxiety intensified and was soon joined by depression. Some days, I couldn’t even get out of bed. Eventually, I left my job. The darkness became so consuming that I attempted to take my own life.

That’s when everything changed.

A Spiritual Awakening Through Mental Health

My name is Rikesh Lallu, and I’m a survivor of severe mental health struggles and suicide attempts. Facing my mental health became the greatest challenge - and ultimately, the greatest gift - of my life. It awakened in me a purpose: to share my story, to break the stigma surrounding mental health, and to offer a voice to those who are still suffering in silence.

I share my experience not from a place of weakness, but from a place of strength. Because what I discovered is that mental health isn’t a weakness - it’s a doorway. When approached with awareness and compassion, our mental health challenges can guide us back to ourselves. For me, it became a deeply spiritual experience - a calling from my soul to listen, to feel, and to heal.

Rather than continuing to numb my emotions, I began to meet them with presence. I discovered meditation. Whenever I felt anxiety or depression rise within me, I would create space - separate myself from distractions, close my eyes, and breathe into the sensations. In those moments of stillness, I began to uncover layers of old wounds and suppressed emotions that had been buried for years.

Instead of fearing the darkness I carried, I learned to walk through it. I allowed myself to feel fully - without judgment - and in doing so, I began to release what no longer served me. Healing came not from avoiding the pain, but from embracing it with patience, love, and understanding.

Returning to the Self

Through this process, I discovered who I truly am - not just as a father, husband, or provider, but as a soul. I came to understand that true healing is holistic - it touches the mind, body, and spirit. And it doesn’t come in a pill bottle. It comes from within.

Today, I live with purpose. I am here to help break the generational and societal cycles of silence around mental health. I am here as a guide for others walking this path of awakening. My mission is to create safe spaces for people to share their stories, to speak their truth, and to heal - free of shame or fear.

To those reading this who may be struggling: You are not alone. Speaking your truth takes incredible courage, but in doing so, you open the door for healing—not just for yourself, but for others who are suffering quietly.

Some Simple, Silly Advice

Now, I know healing and spirituality can sound very serious and deep—but if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that we need to enjoy life, be present, be silly, and soak up every moment to the fullest. As adults, we’re so busy adulting that we forget how important it is to let go and be a kid again.

I know it sounds too simple to be true, but get outside. Breathe some fresh air and feel the sun on your face. Take your shoes off and let your bare feet touch the earth, even if it feels a little weird and you’re being stared at. Go to a park or wander into a forest and hug a tree that calls to you. Nature has a sneaky way of reminding us that we’re connected to something far greater than our screens, calendars, or coffee addictions.

Move your body and not for the six-pack or Instagram pic. Move it because your body was built to dance, stretch, shake, and jump on a trampoline like a slightly out-of-shape ninja warrior with questionable balance.

And if your kid says, “Will you play with me?” drop the phone, give them 100% of your attention and play hide and seek like your life depends on it. If you’re a father, let your daughter paint your toenails and be the villain in her wild made up fairytale. If your son asks you to shoot hoops, get out there and channel your inner Micheal Jordan from the 90’s.

Our kids are here to reconnect us to our inner child and they are our teachers as much as we are theirs. Be that carefree kid you once were. Be that kid who found joy in a stick, some dirt, and a completely made-up game with no rules and too much yelling.

Because sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is laugh, play, and not care how ridiculous you look doing it.

Let’s Heal Together

If you would like to share your own mental health story, please reach out. I am here to listen - with open arms, an open heart, and unconditional love.

Together, we can shift the way our communities see mental health - from something to hide, to something to honour. From something that weakens us, to something that awakens us.

With love and light, Rikesh Lallu

About The Author

Rikesh Lallu is a mental health advocate, spiritual guide and speaker dedicated to helping others navigate their healing journey. A survivor of severe anxiety, depression, and suicide attempts, Rikesh now shares his story to break the stigma around mental health and promote conscious, heart-centred healing. He creates safe, judgement-free spaces for others to speak their truth and reconnect with their inner selves.

Connect with Rikesh on Instagram @rikeshlallu or reach out via email at riklal83@gmail.com